


Cirno fell down a well

by Zaguesezel



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: its stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 13:58:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19297162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaguesezel/pseuds/Zaguesezel
Summary: This is basically what I think happens in Touhou, I don't know shit about Touhou though.





	Cirno fell down a well

“REIMU REIMU THERES-” 

As the panicked fairy person ran into the shrine maiden in question, Reimu pulled out a shotgun as she didn’t like random people on her property.

The fairy, now with her hands up but apparently undeterred kept screaming, “-BEEN A FUCKING INCIDENT.” 

Reimu heaved a heavy sigh, “What.” 

“SOMEONE THREW CIRNO DOWN THE WELL.” 

Reimu looked at her incredulously, “Why can’t she just-”

“SHES LIKE A BABY OR SOMETHING SO I THINK SHE FORGOT HOW TO FLY. PLEASE REIMU.” 

Reimu looked down at herself then at the fairy and started waving her off. “Ok ok yeah I’ll do it now fuck off.” 

The fairy did so happily, and upon her departure Reimu could hear something crawling from under the shrine. It was Marisa, so she made quick work to start kicking at her to make her go away too. 

Marisa, dodging every kick said, “Hey that sounds like it sucks can I come too I’m bored.” 

Reimu stopped once she realized her kicking wouldn’t be enough and that she didn’t feel like using magic on her right now. “Yeaaah, sure, fuck it I guess.” 

Pleased by this Marisa stood up next to Reimu and tried to hook their arms, an action that was met with a shrine maiden’s elbow in her side. 

Reimu started walking away which was Marisa’s indication to start following. 

 

After a long hour walk which happened to involve beating up multiple fairies and/or spirits Reimu and Marisa tripped over that one girl they knew about, Fujiwara, who was doing whatever the fuck she does when shes alone. 

“Ow, thanks guys.” Fujiwara said, sounding like she couldn’t care less about being tripped over. 

“Its your own fault for being in the way.” Marisa retorted hotly, Fujiwara waved her off and looked to Reimu. 

“What’re you guys doing?” She asked. 

“Trying to get Cirno out of a well someone dropped her in.” 

“Oh cool, can I come?” 

Reimu squinted at her, “Don’t you have...your own things to do?” 

“Not at the moment.” She said with a shrug. 

Reimu sighed and shook her head, “Yeah sure, sounds cool. Try not to burn either of us.” 

“I won’t make that promise.” Fujiwara said, dusting herself off and following along as Reimu and Marisa went back on their way. 

 

After an annoying 10 hours of searching for the well and fighting off people who seemed really into the whole throw Cirno down a well plan. They ended up in some dreary looking forest where suddenly Marisa smacked Reimu and Fujiwara on the arm. “Hey was that thing always there.” 

She was pointing at something, and following her gaze the two saw a...well. A fairly regular looking well that was in the process of being reclaimed by nature. 

Fujiwara looked it over and got close to it. “No...but...yup, Cirno’s down there.” 

Reimu and Marisa followed and looked down into the well, finding a very upset, pouting Cirno down there. 

“FUCK OFF.” Cirno said once she saw the gang. 

“We’re here to save you asshole!” Reimu shouted back. 

“I can do that myself, once that bitch that put me down here comes back!” She shouted indiginently. 

“Which bitch?” Marisa asked. 

“THIS BITCH!” Someone who was not Cirno shouted from behind the group.  
They were all quick to look back and attempt to use magic on the supposed kidnapper but there was no one. A second later they were all bashed on the back and thrown from the Well. 

Fujiwara was first to recover and see their assailant, a very aggressive and dangerous looking Youkai who had one hand gripped onto the Well. 

“Once I’ve drained HER,” She stabbed a thumb down toward Cirno. “I WILL be the strongest Youkai!” 

“We’ve got a stupid one on our hands.” Reimu whispered to Marisa, who chuckled at that. 

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING STUPID!?” She growled, shoving both hands into the brick of the Well. 

“I’m calling you-” As Reimu answered the youkai very literally pulled the Well up out from the ground, requiring her to fly upward to do so, once fully pulled out she brandished it the surprisingly long Well at the three as though it were a sword. 

“....Stupid.” Reimu finished lamely, a bit weirded out by the youkai’s weapon of choice. 

“Stupids right, alright,” Fujiwara began, “I’ll attack from the back and you guys-” 

“Why do WE have to be front line can’t you do that, you wouldn’t even die!” Marisa argued, remembering the girl’s apparent immortality. 

“Cuz it still hurts, idiot, any way-” 

“No you can’t just ‘anyway’ that, we could still die!” Marisa complained. 

“Ok fuck this.” Reimu said before she had to listen to more arguing, she flew to the Well Wielding Youkai, the other two hesitated a bit but followed behind her. 

 

And so, after a long, brightly colored battle, and being hit by a Well of all things as though they were baseballs to a bat, they won and killed* the Youkai. They now had the duty of walking Cirno to where ever the fuck she lived. (*she went back to her day job of making artisanal donuts somewhere in Gensoyoko) 

“I coulda beat her.” Cirno grumbled, holding Reimu’s hand, said shrine maiden had taken a few clean blows from that Well so she was a little more than worn out. 

“Just...shut up dude.” Reimu groaned tiredly. 

“Why couldn’t you just fly out?” Fujiwara asked.  
“SHUT UP.” Cirno cried. 

“Did you seriously forget??” Marisa asked, trying to hold in some mocking laughter. 

“I SAID SHUT UP!!” Cirno outright screamed. 

Reimu closed her eyes as if that would stop the ensuing argument of Cirno’s ability to fly. She heaved a heavy sigh, “The things I do to be a good Shrine Maiden…”

**Author's Note:**

> please dont be mean I wrote this in like 30 minutes


End file.
